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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559290">open hand or closed fist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales'>gabriphales</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gomens drabble hell [71]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Sexual Assault, Vomiting, cw for blood !!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:02:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>aziraphale mourns after the war - a polite way of saying he cries himself sick. gabriel can't stand it</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Gabriel (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gomens drabble hell [71]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>open hand or closed fist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>heavy cw for forced kissing and gabriel getting on top of az, holding him down. ik thats kinda spoilers but it could def be triggering so</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>he's been crying for the last five hours, and gabriel doesn't know how to handle him anymore. all the fussing, the wet, ruddy eyes being rubbed by balled-up fists, and the noises - the <i>noises</i> are all too much for him. he chokes on his own sobs, as if even his throat were in favor of shutting him up. the dry crackle sounds with every forced exhale, so annoying, so <i>dramatic.</i> and there's spit gathered at his chin, in the corners of his mouth - a disgusting, drooling visage that only makes gabriel sicker the more he looks at it.</p><p>"don't you have anything better to do than this?" he asks, staring down at the crumpled heap of a formerly grand principality. aziraphale sniffles, caught on his breath, and he dare to glance upwards. their eyes meet. gabriel feels . . . guilty. then angry, infuriated, because he has nothing to guilt himself over, he's done nothing wrong. it's all aziraphale's fault, aziraphale's manipulation, aziraphale's -</p><p>a cough. blood spat up, in red rivulets. aziraphale tenses, an orphaned fawn in the wake of headlights sort of expression tormenting his face. the blood drips along his palm, down his wrist when he brings his hand closer. finally, gabriel can take it no longer.</p><p>"oh, come here, that's what happens when you work yourself up too much. you're an angel, your emotions aren't meant to be - "</p><p>he doesn't get to finish his sentence, because aziraphale is brutally jerking away. sharp, flighty. he looks terrified of him. gabriel can't imagine why.</p><p>"what's wrong? i just want to help." he says, reaching out for aziraphale, starting to kneel. aziraphale backs away like a frightened prey animal, ineffective in speed and manner, and still refusing to run. he coughs again. more blood this time. down his robes, down his throat. there's so much, so clotted, like an unholy bile tearing itself from a source purer than itself. </p><p>gabriel, for all his supposed brilliance, has never been one to take no for an answer. neither does he accept <i>please don't,</i> or <i>get away,</i> or any variations of such. surging forwards, he decides the only way to keep aziraphale in one place is, well, to hold him there. clambering atop his body, rendering him pinned to the ground, struggling under thick-muscled weight.</p><p>aziraphale can hardly lift his chest enough to gasp. "what are you - <i>stop,</i> don't touch me, don't - " </p><p>gabriel's mouth is on his own. it's hard, it's heavy, and it <i>burns.</i> like pure ethanol to an aching, open wound. he tries to cry out - the sounds are all muffled, nothing more than sad, sickly whimpers that turn to gradual acceptance. he pushes against gabriel's chest, but his arms are only pressed down, like ropes tearing him open, forced to tolerate this. he sinks into the ground, and his head dizzies, it swims. he can't remember the pattern of his own breathing, nor how to manage it with gabriel atop him. and he wants to scream, he wants to <i>scream - </i></p><p>but when gabriel pulls away, he stays silent. there's nothing left of air in his lungs. he can't say a single word.</p><p>"there we go," gabriel sighs, as if he'd just worn himself out, providing a favor. "you won't be vomiting anymore."</p><p>hunched over, trembling in his self-served mess of red and white froth, aziraphale finds he'd give anything to spit gabriel back up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i get so sad sometimes i have to write abusive gabriphale. some ppl project to cope</p></blockquote></div></div>
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